Dr Flea has a terrific post discussing the insights in a new book, The New Pediatrics, which addresses how pediatricians have created a new market for themselves:


By the 1950's, Pawluch writes, Pediatricians were becoming bored. The leading causes of Pediatric morbidity and mortality were wiped out in just under 100 years. Fleas in the community were seeing basically throats and ears (sound familiar?). Many gave up and retired. The rest reinvented Pediatrics for the sake of saving it from oblivion.

The New Pediatrics was nothing more than an expansion of the categories fleas insisted properly belonged under the purview of Pediatrics. These included the emotional and social lives of children as well as their physiological lives. It became so because fleas willed it to be so. How is a mother going to respond if a doctor tells her that he's the expert in toilet training and so she'd better listen to what he had to say?

Now, I've not yet read the book, but the timing also explains a lot. The bored peds of the 50s gave way to the in-touch docs of the 60s. Consciousness raising was everywhere, as was social engineering. Medical schools must have been redefining their existence shortly thereafter in terms of "the community's needs"-- and what better community than those folks reaching out for guidance in the new world, as they reject all prior generations' knowledge? 

As a result, social and emotional issues became medicalized. And we've been careening down the slippery slope ever since.

But ah this is not just in pediatrics of course. The isms, the addictions, and the finding of a zillion depedencies are also social and emotional issues that became medicalized, from drinking problems to "alcoholism is a disease", not to mention shopping, gambling and internet addiction. (Think these are real diseases? Read Theodore Dalrymple's Life at the Bottom...)t's just that pediatrics is where it ALL comes together as instinctively, the parent wants desperately to know that their child is normal. And they want to maximize their chance of this by behaving as everyone else around them does and is told to do. It's easy for an adult to hear and ignore "exercise more; eat less fat", etc. But while we as adults don't fear things, as parents, we innately, instinctively fear for our children.

Flea goes on:The New Pediatrics soon gave way to "The New Morbidity". These were conditions never before considered pathology until we fleas "constructed them" as problems. Although Pawluch never says so directly, it is clear that she implies The New Morbidity par excellence is ADHD.

For 10 months Flea has been ranting about this madness we're all marinating in. By madness, I mean this epidemic of pathologizing of normalcy; A mania that leads otherwise sane parents to convince themselves that their children are essentially sick people who require the ministrations of a flea for every sniffle and green poop.

But we can put a stop to it. We can recognize that we go to the doctor for MEDICAL advice. Not PARENTING advice. I have recently determined that I care NOT ONE WHIT what my ped thinks of my choices for where my child sleeps, how long I breast feed, or how my child will be disciplined. None of these things is a MEDICAL issue. Not one. And assuredly, even if there were some emotional or social issues, my pediatrician is not a psychiatrist.

Remember, doctors are just like car mechanics. They know how to fix system X given symptoms A - Z. That's it. It's not magic.

If you need more convincing that your ped has no more knowledge of what's normal in a kid on the social or emotional scale, think of this: have you ever met a kid of a pediatrician? Are they better than your kids? Really, seriously better in any way, shape or form? do you have an iota of a reason to believe they are better parents? No, you don't. Not one. And if that doesn't convince you, stick to this:

Hugh keeps saying that it's all about national security, and it's life-or-death that they stay in power.we can't afford to have the Dems win back Congress.

but Instapundit's right:
how come the Republicans in Congress don't know it's all about national security? how come they are acting this way if it's so important? Why the heck can't they take it seriously?

So often you hear mothers to be talking about what they are going to do re: work/family after their child is born. They have plans--a stake in the ground so to speak. Many women claim to know before even being pregnant what they will do when that child is born. "Of course I'm going back to work!" "daycare will be so much fun; i've checked it out already and it's so educational and safe." "I know this is best for us."

But if they do know, then that's sad. Truly sad, because they are making decisions without asking their own child. Sure, he might not be able to speak in words at 3 months or 8 months, but he communicates in a zillion ways, through his demeanor, sleep, eating, activity level and emotions on his face. How can you possibly know what is best for him without seeing him interact in the world? How many of us what to be assigned to a place to work without having interviewed there, smelled it, met the coworkers and boss? How many of us would like to be told that someone else decided who we'd spend 12 hours a day with, sight unseen?

Life is fluid with kids, and this constant desire to put in stone what works on paper is not reality.

This is just another way in which we desperately try to act like we are in control.

But we are not in control. We are just people, and that child is another person. Your kid will have a personality, one that might adore daycare and hate Mary Poppins. He might be special needs, in which case all bets are off. Maybe he's shy and needs his mother to grow to become confident, and bad attachment now is a disaster for him. Or you may find that you need to be home with your child due to illness, or that you must work for health insurance coverage. It could be that staying near family is best, or moving away from family turns out to be best because cost of living is lower, or the town is safer or the job market is better. You might have a death in the family that changes everything, etc. And that's just when he's 4 months old. All of these things change continuously, so what didn't work at 4 months might at 8; what did work at 8 won't work at 2 yrs, etc.

So much about the modern woman is about controlling her destiny-making money, deciding her career, choosing spouses, where to live, taking charge of financial decisions, etc. But motherhood is about putting your child in control. Some humility in the face of this awesome responsibility of parenting means admitting that making decisions by fiat is actually wrong for the whole family. We are guardians of our children, not owners. Acting without consulting them is really missing the point.

So, that perfect solution may not be so perfect when the time comes, and that's okay.  Learning to adapt to your child's needs is part of the beauty of parenting--teaching us that all of our sure footing, material desires are just barely relevant compared to that smile on your baby's face.

Tar and feathering is unpleasant because it's HOT.

Hugh Hewitt's discussing the Amish school shooting today, and made a comment about how we are breeding more crazies.

are we? I am not so sure. There are a number of possibilities. It could be that they just have much more mediia attention--100 years ago, a shooting in an Amish community would not become news in California, would it? How long would that news take to arrive? 


I wonder more if the modern world creates soft targets through anonymity and effortless, fast travel. In the past, didn't the unstable have to stay in their homes? The community knew who the misfits were. They judged who was dangerous. Certainly outsiders without proper introductions from other towns were viewed with great suspicion. In fact, it seems clear that the outsider was generally the person that the depraved person managed to hurt or kill, as the town's suspicion of them often left them without help.

Could it be too that the depraved and unstable were removed from society by socially acceptable violence, too? Lynchings and hangings certainly missed the mark of justice too often for our modern sensibilities, but perhaps even if they didn't reduce the number of defective people, they scared them into submission. Fundamentally, we are creating a world where no one will establish societal limits. Over and over again, we are withdrawing from our duty to unequivocally state as a society what behaviors are beyond the pale. Every additional moment of tv sensation ads to the lurid enjoyment; even hearing the tales must build up the bloodlust.

Still, I doubt there is more evil in the world. I just think it has an easier time reaching out to us, just as we reach out to each other in some many other ways. This reminded me of an interesting film, The Reflecting Skin. It's a story about evil. A variety of evils, I guess. And of our silence in the face of evil. We watch people who are or who become monsters. Do we even admit what we are seeing?

"It's so hard to raise a child." "You need to be so stable to have a child." "Raising a child is hard under the best of circumstances." "You need to have reached a stable point in your career to have children." etc. etc. etc.

Does this sound familiar? Is it the conventional wisdom where you live? Is it spoken as a caveat before anyone says anything positive about children? Is it the disclaimer necessary for people to feel comfortable talking about childrearing in your community?

It's part of the Great Lie. The truth is, raising a child isn't difficult under the best of cirumstances. In those cases, it's pretty darn easy. And in normal circumstances? It's pretty easy too.

Of course there are difficult situations, times with overwhelming feelings and confusion. Of course there are terrible pains. Financial woes are terrifying when you have children. And if your child is ill or developmentally different, that's a different universe.

But enough with the disclaimers. The disclaimers are keeping us from seeing the truth. Raising children is a joy. Raising children is an unmatched parallel in wonder. Raising children is so much fun that the nuisances and worries are simply not worth making into caveats. And when we speak with those disclaimers, we stop focusing on the joy, the love, the blessing that children are. We focus on worldliness, on logistical problems of the 21st century. We focus not on our families but on the trappings that keep us from connecting with our loved ones.

It's a lie. It's said to comfort ourselves in those times when we're having a hard time of our own making. It's said to make us feel better about how having our priorities out of whack has made child rearing difficult for us. It's said to make us feel better about our consumerism, our need for things, or our need for placating ourselves.

It's not hard to a raise a healthy child. It takes love, a little thoughtfulness, and even less money. With your priorities firmly on your children and spouse, the rest of the difficulties go away. Heck, the love part comes so easily once you spend time with your family.

What's hard is for us to let go of all the other crap that isn't raising our children.

We have trouble navigating parenthood because of our modern world, our modern fears, our modern preconceptions. But none of those things matters. None of those things is actually all that important.

 

Perception, moreso than reality, shapes our wars. It shapes our willingness to fight. It shapes our enemy's response. Like performance art, the interaction of our viewing of the war changes the experience for us and those around us. Our reactions are part of the battlefield.

Given that, to what extent is the media culpable for our current foreign policy fiasco in Iran and North Korea? What is their and our responsbility? The more Iraq is portrayed as a loss, a tragedy, a quagmire, the more likely we are to lose. The more we portray our efforts as futile, the fewer options left at the negotiation table with Iran and North Korea. The more we show that a superpower is being beaten, the more the world will deny we are a superpower at all. We know this; we even rail against it, shouting that a country at war should behave in a united fashion. But really, what does the press owe the nation?

more to be continued...

From the files of "mistakes you only make once":

When you get that very first prescription of liquid for your baby, make the pharmacist add cherry flavor. or bubblegum. or something. Whatever flavor it starts as is a disaster waiting to happen.

And personally, whoever thought children would like mint-like-mouthwash flavored medicine needs to watch 7,000 hours of Barney as punishment.